I'm Scared - I Messed Up!

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"My small business was doing great. In fact, it was bringing in so much money that I quit my job and told my employer to stuff it! Boy, was I proud to do that! Everything was going fine - then disaster hit. My small business doesn't even bring in enough income now to cover my bills and my family is forced into poverty. Where did I go wrong? I can't go back to my employer and beg for my job back. I bragged to everyone I knew about the success of my business and now I'm a failure. What should I do?"

This desperate letter was received in my office a few weeks ago and my heart immediately bled for him. This same scenario happens to a lot of us (including me) and it really destroys our pride and self-confidence in our abilities.

Anytime ANY human being decides to do anything that "goes against the grain" of normal society, people are naturally skeptical. They will look at you because you are doing something different from everyone else. But isn't this human nature? If you walked into a room and everyone was dressed in formal attire - wouldn't the guy who was dressed in blue jeans stick out like a sore thumb? Of course he would. But that doesn't mean the guy is less than human. He's just different - so you look at him. He draws attention.

So naturally, when you start a business, you are doing something different than most people. They not only will look at you because you stick out like a sore thumb - but human nature will cause people to naturally ridicule what you are doing. They will tell you all types of things like: "You're not business material." "You can't make a living working for yourself." "You'll fail because nobody can ever make any money that way." My friends and relatives used to even make fun of me and say "Oh yea - sure! You have to have a lot of money to run a business and you'll always be poor like the rest of us."

You have to build self-confidence in yourself. You have to only be concerned with pleasing yourself and your Creator (God) - not mankind. Then, when (and if) you should fail with this particular venture, you'll just dust yourself off and start again. It doesn't matter if people "think" you're nuts! They aren't paying your rent and running your life. Don't be concerned with what people "think" you should be. Just please yourself and do what you feel is right. People are too busy competing with society and "keeping up with the Jones's" that they do things they are not comfortable with just to appease them and look "normal" (whatever that is).

And if you have to - start out small in building your self-confidence. I used to be so self-conscious that I would never eat at a restaurant alone because I thought people would believe I was lonely and had no friends. Unbelievable, but true. But, every day I worked on walking into a restaurant, taking a magazine to read and eating alone. I would glance around, and to my amazement, no one ever looked at me. No one cared that I was eating alone. Then - it dawned on me; "Who cares what these people think? I'll never see them again." Besides, there were a lot of other people eating alone also and I could absorb myself in the magazine I had took to read. Now I can eat in restaurants and not give any thought to the people around me.

But back to business - when most people do fail in business they try to "save face" by telling everyone they are "just in a slump" and everything will be back to normal soon. Besides, they don't want people to say: "I told you so" and destroy any pride they are still hanging onto. Unfortunately, this only delays the problem and creates even more false hope for the people in your life as well as yourself.

The best thing to do for anybody in this catastrophe is to swallow their pride and admit they screwed up. Just face it head on! Admit that you were so proud of your accomplishments that your mind became diluted with "visions of sugar plums and fantasyland." Then - GO ON!

If your small business is beyond repair, go out and find a job and begin working on your next small business in the near future. Keep your family fed and your financial obligations met but look forward to the day when you WILL succeed with your new business venture.

And why should you try again? Simply because you won't make the same mistakes you made this time. If you built something successful before (but failed), you are certain to build the next business stronger and wiser. Even if you fail the second time, it won't be because of mistakes you made the first time. You'll learn more and more - and eventually be successful. It's inevitable! Have fun!